


See You, Space Cowboy

by Anonymous



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Experimental Style, F/M, Mindscrew, POV Second Person, Time Loop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-04
Updated: 2020-08-04
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:35:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25716667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Being aware that you might be a video game character isn't all it's cracked up to be.(Time loop theory, Seven's POV)
Relationships: 707 | Choi Luciel/Main Character, Mentioned Main Character/Others
Comments: 2
Kudos: 32
Collections: Anonymous





	See You, Space Cowboy

Aaand we're back.

You try to feel nothing as you hack into the phone of the stranger who suddenly appeared in the RFA chatroom. The stranger you already know everything about.

It's fine. You'll play along. Agent 707 is nothing if not good at playing along, meow.

You tell the others she's cute. You leave out the part of her being the love of your life. 

You also forget to mention that they all have called her the love of their lives, once.

You say absolutely nothing about how you only laugh because the alternative is a despair so deep nothing waits at the bottom of it but madness and death.

In other words, it's business as usual.

* * *

It didn't take you long to fall for her when she first arrived, worried and flustered but quickly adapting to the group. She was funny and kind and played along with your jokes. And while she didn't really resemble Rika — no matter what Yoosung says — much like Rika, she made RFA's heart beat once more.

You liked her. You liked her a lot. You flirted only as a joke, sure, but your life always felt a bit sunnier when she flirted back. Day by day, even knowing it was impossible, you dreamed of more.

You weren't the only one. Within days, Zen had fallen head over heels in love with her. And she reciprocated. Of course she did. It took many more drama-filled days and their lives being put in danger — in no small part because of you and the bomb you had installed against your better judgement — but they pulled through. Happily ever after.

You were happy for them. You were. You promised yourself you would continue to further Zen's career in every way you could. For both their sakes.

That could have been the end of it. That should have been the end of it. Luciel Choi, the False God Seven, had been born and reborn into the shadows. That was exactly where you meant to die as well.

And then, as you opened a can of PhD Pepper to take a break from your work, midnight struck.

Cinderella was back.

You watched the events of the past three weeks unfold all over again in a dreamlike haze. The words exchanged in the chatroom were similar enough to invoke constant déjà vus, but still different.

Somehow, you had gone back in time, except the calendar on your computer still showed a new date.

Lolol. You had always wanted to know what it felt like to live in a sci-fi movie.

Correction. A sci-fi game. One where you played your role, changing your responses only when the words others spoke shifted. She was still kind to you, but this time, it was Jaehee who grew closest to her. To this day you aren't entirely sure if they were officially dating — except they were, who are you kidding, _come on_ — but even already suspecting what was about to happen, you wished them the best.

And like the fool you are, you kept loving her.

The third time you found yourself in the chatroom where everyone had miraculously converged to be shocked by the newcomer, you were as intrigued as you were alarmed. Had your life actually become a video game? Would she go through the members the RFA one by one, only to disappear in the end? Or would you keep looping forever?

You did what you always did, the very same thing you are doing right now. You kept smiling. You kept keeping secrets.

Once more, she played along with your jokes whenever it didn't intervene with her rigorous schedule of flirting with Zen — and in this particular instance, forgoing both in favour of supporting Yoosung. Again and again, she displayed a cool head and consideration for all.

And made it abundantly clear she wants to marry you at the space station.

Then she set her sights on you, and your entire world turned upside down. It was all fun and games when it was just innocent flirting. When you _knew_ it would never go anywhere. Only she missed the memo, and all your attempts at cheeriness and your not-so-secret love for her suddenly turned into liabilities. 

You tried to push her away. You tried to keep her safe. You ended up revealing all the ugliness festering beneath the mask you call Seven in hopes she would flee and save herself. Instead, she stayed by your side, overflowing love and forgiveness.

In the end, you abandoned the mask of Luciel as well. You allowed yourself to love her back.

What happened next is seared forever onto the insides of your skull. It wasn't an uphill struggle. It was more like trying to conquer Annapurna without any gear.

Only you did have gear. A spaceship full of love, and lives dependent on you. And ultimately, you survived.

You were... happy. Slowly but surely, Saeran was healing. And you had something more, too. The girl who gave you a star. Life was better than you could ever have dreamed of after the endurance run that was your childhood, after your hollow existence as an agent. Against all odds, you got your happy ending.

All the more reason why, when you woke up in your chair amidst a sea of empty Honey Buddha chip bags to a chatroom with a sudden mysterious intruder who only an hour before was your fiancée, you simply... shut down. A cut power cord. No backup battery.

There was only the loop.

* * *

You say nothing. You can't say anything. You have to say something. 

So you break into her phone and tell everyone that she's cute. She's shocked. They're shocked. It's the same old story, except for the part where she says she's a guy.

She makes a cute guy, incidentally. Memories of the silly photo shoots you did together with both of you cross-dressing make you smile. 

Of course, those pictures no longer exist.

You just barely avoid making cute jokes about how you long for death. And less cute remarks about how you really, truly, sincerely wish to die.

Instead, you continue to say nothing. And time stands still, as if the chatroom itself is waiting for you to see the cue cards and proceed with the script. After a long stalemate, you channel your inner Zen and play your part.

And so it goes. Again. And again. And again.

Speaking of Zen, you think he might know of the loop as well. You haven't asked. That'd be breaking one wall too many. 

You text him cat noises instead. He tells you to buzz off.

She grows closest to Yoosung again. But something shifts. She begins saying things she never would have before. Not to you, specifically — towards you, she is still her sunny, supportive self — but when it comes to Yoosung, she becomes... odd. Why does she encourage him to see her as Rika? She knows what Rika has become. Or does she? Maybe she doesn't remember. Maybe she isn't even the person you fell in love with, just someone who resembles her in almost every way.

When she and Yoosung are annihilated by the bomb, a part of you dies as well. You're still reeling when the clock strikes midnight.

The next time she dies, the pain is duller, but it cuts deeper. You start keeping count.

* * *

You stare at the her avatar on the left side of your screen as your comments swallow it up. She never changes it. Not once during these endless years has she ever changed it.

**707** [No one knows how affectionate I can be lol]

**707** [Right?]

**707** [I hope u believe me.]

**606** [I'll believe you.]

Of course she does. She knows how much you have loved her. She knows how much you love her still.

**707** [Ur a nice person]

You mean it. Even after seeing how strange she can become, you still believe it.

You work on autopilot. You smile ruefully to yourself as the injected code takes over the security system, trying to think what it'll feel like when you're one day released and find all your hacking skills eroded to nothing because you've done nothing but the same ten days' worth of work time and time and time again.

**707** [Liking someone is **selfish.** ]

**707** [It clouds your mind and makes you do and say things you normally wouldn't.]

And yeah, you're quoting Expert Playboy of all the possible stupid things to quote. Is it true? You suppose it was, once.

Now it's the opposite. It's because you love her that you follow the routine, the one that makes you feel like an NPC. Piece by piece, your remaining peace of mind peels off your skull and joins the rest of the trash on your floor. 

You really need some more maid service. Where's Vanderwood when you need her?

**707** [The main character always comes last.]

* * *

You wake up in your chair. The clock on your screen states "23:32" in uncaring white numbers. Nice symmetry, anyway.

What day is it? No, not the weekday. Those stopped mattering the day you realised your happy ending was just another great prank.

Right. Day 4 of Variation A. Your twenty-seventh time through it, as it happens. The mysterious wizard who's behind this time loop really needs to step up their game or they're gonna lose your interest for good.

Lol. As if they care if you're a riveted audience or not. You have a very good idea of who the show is for.

You scroll up to see what you've missed. Ah, yes. Zen's trippy dream. Which used to be hilarious. Especially since they're all so nervous about it.

**ZEN** [In the dream I just had...]

**ZEN** [you were an imaginary person.]

You laugh. It's not the same laugh you used when you first read this chat.

Did she protest this time? Was she creeped out?

No. She went with the third option.

**606** [To be honest, I'm using an app that only lets me say programmed things.]

A joke that's not a joke. You've known that since the second time she said as much, but it's now, scrolling back to read the conversation you only just missed and seeing those words blazing on the screen of your phone, that you begin to think.

Zen keeps going, talking about how you might all be robots. You look at your hands and expect your skin to melt away to reveal the chrome underneath.

Knowing you exist in another dimension from her is a deliverance, almost. Knowing you have no agency, knowing you have no way of contacting her beyond the confines of the messenger... sometimes it feels like all the suffering of your early years crashing in at once, true, but at least there's nothing you can do about it. Nothing. No more than you can do about the circumstances of your birth.

Except...

Your hands make their way to your keyboard without your permission. The code you're modifying appears on the leftmost screen, blazing forward as fast as you can type.

Except.

Except you keep trying. It _is_ your messenger as much as it isn't. Even if you're not flesh and blood to her, you _are_ a genius hacker. Even if you can't create a portal into her world...

Maybe, just maybe, you can crack a window to it.

The hope is killing you faster than all the time loops combined.

Well, there you go. Ctrl + S. Iteration 606. You give the screen a bleak smile. If this lucky version doesn't reach her, nothing will.

Again, you hand is tapping away at its own volition, the text sent before you can think better of it. It's the only way.

**707** [if u can see this, say Honey Buddha Chip]

You wait, meaning to put down your phone and focus on your Ph.D. Pepper. Instead, you're glued to the tiny screen. She usually replies within minutes. But how fast will she reply to a text she's never seen before, after all these years?

**606** [Honey Buddha Chip]

Well.

It's not conclusive, and that's why you feel perfectly calm writing your follow-up text. 

**707** [If u look at the bottom right corner of your screen, you should see a red pixel]

**707** [Try pressing it]

It's only going to make it worse if it fails, but you pull up the computer clock and watch the seconds tick by. Time for the good old waiting game.

It takes ninety-one seconds. It feels like five years. 

You're pretty sure you're going to die when the text message alert pops up. You're not sure of what.

Then you read the text, and figure your cause of death is going to be everything at once.

**606** [How did you do this?!?]

**707** [Never underestimate God 7 lolol]

Why are you being flippant? Maybe because flippancy was the key.

** 707's Guide to Reaching Another World through Your Messenger App **

  1. Figure out that when she complains jokingly about being limited to pre-determined choices, she's actually being dead serious. You know this tactic. It might as well be called the 707 Gambit.
  2. Decide that if you're ever going to have anything resembling real conversation without seeing her in person (which you can't do right now — you're gonna die if you leave, and while you might be resurrected, it's not a guarantee. You'll give that a shot when you're desperate. You mean, more desperate), you're going to have to make sure she can actually talk freely.
  3. After two hundred and forty one phone calls, you're pretty sure she can't actually talk freely on the phone. Maybe the connection is distorted by whatever is keeping you separated when you're not in the same physical space. (Have you ever actually been in the same physical space? You have touched her so many times you have spent so many years together but it all feels so unreal right now and)
  4. You're a hacker, aren't you? A brilliant one, if you don't mind tooting your own horn. Make it so she _can_ talk to you.
  5. If the messenger update fails, reiterate.
  6. Reiterate.
  7. Reiterate.



**707** [I reiterated]

**707** [lolol]

**606** [It feels like I'm dreaming]

**606** [But if I am, it's a beautiful dream]

Even though you know exactly how you did it, you still wonder if you aren't dreaming as well. Is what she is saying what you would expect her to say in your dreams?

Or maybe your mind finally snapped and you're just raving to yourself. Who knows.

**606** [Seven]

**606** [I mean]

**606** [Saeyoung]

**606** [I'm running out of space]

**707** [That's funny, I'm running out of time.]

**707** [Think we have enough for a continuum if we share?]

You hadn't meant to joke. It simply slipped out because you are so tired and stressed and God what does she mean by that, was your worst nightmare true all along, and what is there that you can do but joke, you, Seven Zero Seven, The God of Clowns?

**606** [I don't have enough space for the app]

**606** [My phone's been warning me about it for a month now]

**606** [I've deleted everything]

**606** [Even my browser]

**606** [but even that's not enough anymore]

**606** [The messaging app will have to go]

The app isn't very large. Hers especially isn't, since its only special feature is an email client. Just how old is her phone?

**707** [I'll send u a new phone]

**707** [I'll even put in some games on it for u]

**606** [I wish that were possible...]

You have sent her things, of course. The rules regarding whether they reach her or not are... complicated. Back when you were engaged, back when so much of your attention was taken by your efforts to help Saeran, you sometimes went weeks without seeing her. Back then, the gadgets and chips you sent her were always warmly acknowledged. The USB stick filled with galaxy pictures you tried posting to her two loops ago got presumably gobbled up by the void.

**707** [I'll find a way]

**707** [Trust me]

**707** [If that's what u want I mean]

**606** [Saeyoung]

**606** [I still think this is a dream, but I'm going to say this anyway]

**606** [I love you]

**606** [I love you so much]

**606** [And I always will]

**606** [And if I could, I would spend the rest of my life with you]

Your eyes are not misty. That would be weird. It's a sudden heat haze in your home, that's all.

**707** [I love you too]

**707** [More than anything]

**707** [If you say the word I'll find a way for us to meet at the space station]

There is a long pause. You start to think that your hotfix has failed, that it was incrementing some value that shouldn't have been touched. You're desperately combing through the code when she finally sends you another message.

**606** [It's not just the phone]

**606** [It's time, too]

**606** [I just can't keep up much longer]

**606** [But i have a plan.]

**606** [I don't know if this will work, Saeyoung]

**606** [I really hope it will]

**606** [I don't want to leave you behind]

**606** [Or at least, I want a part of me to always stay with you]

**606** [...Can you open this channel back up after it's closed?]

**606** [After I delete the app, I'll download it again and try talking to you. Then we'll know if things worked out as I hoped they would]

**606** [I don't want to leave thinking everything is fine when it's not...]

**707** [Leave it to God 7!]

**606** [Saeyoung]

**606** [Just in case I wake up and don't get another chance to say this]

**606** [Thank you for having been a part of my life]

**606** [I will never forget you.]

Okay, fine. You are crying. And hugging your phone as she signs off.

Once again, she has given you a star.

* * *

The clock strikes midnight. The RFA chatroom is abuzz with the sudden entrance of a new face.

Turns out, two-way communication without pre-determined answers sends the whole app on a tailspin. With time, you might be able to fix it, but for now you resolve to only keep it on for as little time as possible.

That's why you only receive one new message from her.

**606** [See you soon]

And when you once again rush in to save her, when you once again come face to face with your other half and have your heart shattered by his hatred and pain, you use her words as an anchor. It still hurts — it will always hurt, no matter how many times you live through it, no matter how you should be able to prepare yourself — but you will live through this. You will.

And once the shock wears off and you turn towards her and see the tears glistening in the corners of those beautiful eyes, you don't hesitate to take her in your arms and hold her, meaning to never let go.

"Did it work?" 

"I don't know yet." She sniffles, and even that is cute. "I'll know a week from now."

"As scripted till then?"

She nods. "Yeah. As scripted till then."

An eternity and nowhere near enough at once. That doesn't stop you from keeping her close, and from smelling her hair, and praying to God that for once, just this once, time might stop.

* * *

The clock strikes midnight. The RFA chatroom is abuzz with the sudden entrance of a new face.

**606** [Did it work?]

**707** [Let's just say]

**707** [Getting suddenly pulled back ten years from the future]

**707** [Feels really weird lolol]

**606** [:)]

**606** [...are you okay living through it all again?]

**606** [This will be the last time I swear]

**707** [Beep beep]

**707** [All aboard!]

**606** [lol]

**606** [I will always be with you, Saeyoung]

**606** [See you next week. <3]


End file.
